Loving Touch

Adult content. You must be 18 or older to continue reading.

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This week I’m participating in another of Chuck Wendig’s flash fiction challenges. This time the exercise is to write — 2000 words or less — something Clean Reader censors would edit. This is my first attempt at erotic fiction. I found it fun to explore the words I might use and how far I might go to describe Dawneva’s experiences. I thank you in advance for honest feedback.

Loving Touch – Dawneva’s – Massage

Dawneva had parked in front of the Asian market down the street to avoid being seen at the studio. She’d read about this place through online reviews that were of questionable legitimacy; she wasn’t sure what to anticipate. The waiting room was dark. The only challenges to client confidentiality, it seemed, were natural daylight from the sheer-covered windows and a lamp on the desk. Her eyes adjusted from the brightness outside. She seemed to be alone. The reception desk was positioned near the door and the middle aged woman with artificially large breasts asked for payment upfront. New age music played in the background, but the space was sparse and not particularly welcoming. Chrome and vinyl chairs, like you’d have found in a medical office in the 70’s, lined the rectangular room.

“”Brandon or Carter? Brandon on the left, Carter on the right.” The woman waved towards two men who sat in chairs at the edge of the room furthest from the door.

The first was leaning his head against the wall with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes closed. He wore shorts to his knees and was bare chested, tanned, muscular, blonde. His bare feet were shoved into unlaced Converse high tops. He looked to be about 20 years old, baby faced, much too young to do his own laundry properly, let alone know how to touch a woman.

Carter on the right was the older of the two. He had brown, wavy hair, a stubbly beard, baggy white medical scrubs, and flip flops. He looked up from his smart phone and smiled at Dawneva.

Definitely Carter, she thought.

“Shall we go, Sweetheart?”

She nodded, relieved at not having to voice her preference, and followed Carter down a short hallway to a private room. He closed the door and quickly explained his service. She was to undress to as little clothing as she was comfortable with and could then drape her body with towels he provided, as she preferred. If she wanted to touch him there would be additional fees, paid in cash directly to him. He seemed kind, professional, and direct.

This will be OK, she convinced herself.

“I’ll leave while you get settled.” He smiled and exited.

Dawneva slipped out of her suit jacket, patent pumps, and skirt while she took in the small room. It was sparse, but cozy. On the walls hung sea grass wallpaper. There was a full length mirror and a decorative fountain babbled on tiny table in the corner. Acoustic guitar music rose from a player on the credenza and next to that was a stack of fresh, white towels of various sizes, a few folded sheets, and a basket filled with an assortment of bottled lotions. There was a large mattress on the floor wrapped with a crisp sheet.

If nothing else, this place is nice and clean, she thought.

Her black lace bra and panties came off next, a set that was one of many no one but Dawneva had ever seen. Each item she folded and placed on the chair. She fingered the clip in her hair and hesitated before opting to keep it tied up. She positioned herself in the centre of the mattress, laying on her belly, and then placed a folded towel across her buttock. Carter knocked and let himself in when she called back to him.

“Do you prefer music or would you like to talk?” he asked.

“The music is nice.” It had been a trying day at the office, what with the union issues and whatnot, so she was happy for the opportunity to escape into the experience ahead of her. Not to mention that she wasn’t wanting to speak about herself; anonymity was a good thing for her first time. She hoped she could turn off the sound of her own thoughts. She was very aware that no other man had touched her since she’d been married.

Carter turned the music up, knelt at her feet and filled his hands with oil.

Just breathe. She felt herself sink into the mattress as she exhaled.

Dawneva closed her eyes and took a deep breath as lavender filled her sinuses. Carter rubbed her feet firmly, one at a time. It was heavenly. She imagined the masseur was Locke.

Dawneva had fallen in love with Locke.

Bill was her husband of ten years.

Neither man would touch her in the way she needed to be, Locke out of respect for her marriage, Bill out of self-absorption and neglect.

Dawneva looked forward to this indulgence and hoped it would be everything she’d read about online, maybe more, but despite the two glasses of Chardonnay she’d just tossed back, she was nagged by the thought she might be doing something wrong.

Carter moved his hands up her left leg, adding more oil. First her calf, then her upper thigh, stroking her with skill. On her right leg, his hands inched up a little further than they had before. She wanted him to rub her backside, so as the towel slipped, she didn’t adjust it. Instead, she pressed her buttocks up towards him and he complied by gently grabbing her cheeks with his hands. He added more warm oil, his thumbs pressing deep into her softness as she felt her pussy start to throb and oisten. He kissed her tailbone then, and pulled her cheeks open, tenderly licking her anus and she shivered. She felt his tongue reach towards her pussy and she ached for him but the kisses teased their way back up to her spine. She sighed and relaxed. Any feelings of guilt she’d had before were melting away, along with her stress.

Oh, Locke. Sighs.

Gently, Carter pushed her legs further open. He kneeled between them and massaged her hips and lower back. Dawneva could feel his cotton covered groin brushing against her backside as he reached up her torso. Again her bare backside lifted to meet him. He pressed against her and they moved together to the rhythm of the guitar. Carter’s cock was hard and her pussy quivered.

He moved away and she fell to the mattress again, exhaling completely as he straddled her back and rubbed her shoulders, then neck. Carter removed the clip from Dawneva’s hair. Her long, brown waves tumbled every which way.

He grinned and combed her hair to one side with his fingers. The gentle swirling of Carter’s finger tips on her head aroused a moan from her. It was surreal.

“Roll over?”

She complied, not bothering to hold in place the towel drape he offered.

Carter knelt behind her head, continuing to massage her shoulders and neck.

Dawneva opened her eyes. He was staring right into hers. His eyes were blue, not unlike her own and she was brought out of her fantasy for a moment.

“Hello, Beautiful,” Carter smiled. Her face hardened for a moment and she closed her eyes again, hoping he’d stop speaking, and desperately trying to regain the fantasy.

He stretched his arms to rub each of hers and as he leaned forward he kissed her forehead, tenderly. Then he stroked her face.


Dawneva reached behind her to rub Carter’s thighs and hard bulge. He returned her sighs.

Carter moved to kneel beside her. He drizzled the scented oil across her breasts and then caught it with his hands as it dripped to her sides. Gently he rubbed one breast at a time. Then he bent to kiss a nipple and Dawneva ran her fingers through his hair, keeping his mouth close to her chest. The kisses became teasing flicks of his tongue, quick, gentle, teasing. Then the other nipple. Kisses, then flicks. She wanted him to suck her breasts but he moved his head between them and kissed there, instead. Then licked, down her body to her belly button, his beard tickling a path of tingles down her body.

He nuzzled her soft tummy a while, gently kissing around her belly button, then licking and sucking as if to sip sweet liqueur from it. Carter blew on her belly button, sending cool shivers up her body. Next hot breath as again, he moved lower and parted her legs.

Dawneva’s pussy was dripping, swollen and aching for love. She continued to run her fingers through his luscious hair as he admired her lady bits and carefully ran a finger around her labia causing more shivers for Dawneva. He put his finger inside, then another as she moaned.

A becoming motion of Carter’s fingers stroked her g-spot as Dawneva quivered uncontrollably. His other hand moved back to a breast and he squeezed her nipple til she cried out and shuddered with sweet release.

Locke and Bill disappeared.

Carter tasted her wetness on his fingers then pressed his face to her pussy to bring her happiness again.


He looked up.

Dawneva sat. She wanted a turn.

She reached for Carter’s shirt and he helped her pull it over his head. Then he stood, untied the drawstring on his pants, and let them fall to the floor. The loose fabric had concealed a tight body, firm and athletic. His skin was fair and smooth, with a sprinkling of freckles across his shoulders. His penis was fully erect and a drop glistened on the tip.

Dawneva licked the pre-cum off of Carter’s cock, then took him all into her mouth, slow and deep as he let out a big sigh. She grabbed the back of his thighs and slowly moved him in and out of her mouth, teasing the tip with her tongue on each stroke. Now Carter was throbbing. His thighs and buttocks were firm.

“I don’t want to come yet. Stop, Sweety.”

She wasnt ready for this to end, either.

She held his manliness in her hand and let him slide out of her mouth. Carter sighed again, this time with relief. He pushed her back onto the mattress and then moved on top of her.

He kissed her neck and her cheek before finding her lips. Her lips. His lips. He tasted like the peppermint candies shed seen on the reception desk. Delicious, wet heat flooded Dawneva. From her head, to her ears, heart and pussy, every part of her was hot and pounding. She couldn’t remember ever being kissed like this. Like she was being given life. She reached for his cock and teased her clit with it a few times before he thrust inside of her, the two of them simultaneously letting out a moan. This is what she wanted.

This. Yes.

Carter grinded deep inside of Dawneva, caressing her cervix and her clit with his motions. Her insides were full of him. Every inch consumed by his throbbing cock. They shared each other’s breaths as she felt her pleasure build again.

“Let me on top.”

Before she knew it, Carter was flipping her petite body on top of his, their throbbing bits still firmly attached. She couldn’t help but giggle or stare

Dawneva’s hair fell around Carter’s face as she bent to kiss him. Her hips moved up and down on his shaft and he winced with his own pleasure.

Then he sucked on her breasts, one at a time, ever so gently at first and then stronger as Dawneva moaned loudly, grinding her wet pussy against his pubic bone, tgen, suddenly, she felt every bit of air and tension escape her body.

I haven’t forgotten how, she smiled to herself.

Carter’s hips continued thrusting upwards as he, too, joined her in ecstasy, fulfilling her frantic need to feel seed inside her. She collapsed against Carter, inhaling the remnants of his cologne mixed with musky sweat. Dawneva was abundantly satisfied and he was panting with relief. They were both exhausted.

Perhaps she’d be impregnated. The timing was perfect. And Carter was so… virile.

She looked up at him and giggled again, “best massage ever.”

A short time later, Carter gently moved out from under Dawneva’s sleepy body. He tossed the used towels in a basket along with his scrubs and then donned a fresh outfit from a drawer in the credenza. She’d watched him wipe himself off and then cover his body methodically.

He stated his price, told her to leave cash on the chair and then he slipped out the door.

As she walked towards the market, the emptiness inside her returned. Dawneva wondered what, if anything, would develop in the weeks to come and if the people closest to her would notice what she’d done. What kind of woman pays for sex?

— Dandi Johnson

What works? What doesn’t?

Are the characters believable?

Do you sense what Dawneva wants? Her conflict?

Is there potential for a story without this scene?


2 thoughts on “Loving Touch

  1. There were a couple of typos in what was otherwise an exhilarating story! This was really effing good. The story was believable, as were the characters. I didn’t get a sense of conflict until the end; she seemed willing and ready the entire time. Maybe if you make her a little reluctant at first, like she doesn’t want to be judged for her actions by her mother, priest, neighbors, etc. What would they think? Maybe she’s been a “good girl” her entire life, and this is her departure from a boring, compliant life of pleasing others at the expense of her own pleasure and fulfillment. Could you have a story without this scene? Of course, but why would you? This scene is fapworthy and fabulous!


    • Thanks for your feedback; it is very helpful and I appreciate the time you took to write. I agree that Dawneva’s reservations need to be more prominent so I’m working on that in edits.


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